Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Words of wisdom

I received this in email today and it's perfect timing. I'm still committed, though not obsessed, but guess what? I'm bumping it up a notch back to obsession. Read this:

There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses - only results. -Ken Blanchard
Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you. -Unknown
Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer. -Marcia Wieder.
Commitment is the glue that bonds you to your Goals. -Jill Koenig. 

It spoke to me.  The middle piece in particular.

I've restarted exercise classes and watch what I eat like a hawk most days. I've had a couple of evenings when I've overeaten in terms of snacking. I continue to work on the draw of the pantry and frig. Mindfulness is not a part time job for sure. 

I am not checking my blood sugars as often as I should, but that's corrected today. I can pretend the numbers don't count, but they do. 

Blogging is going to be important for me. I know this and now that I've written it down, I am recommitted to it.

Wednesday it is!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Keeping it going

Obsession day 2. Obsession can be read as mindfulness or motivated or whatever, but it is, so far, a success. My fasting blood sugar this morning was down almost 100 points at 153.

My daughter wrote me a heart-felt email asking if I had a quit date for smoking again. I replied to her that in the back of my mind, I do. I tried to explain that diabetes was my first task right now, but I felt like I was rationalizing. It's the truth, but it felt false coming out of my head and onto the screen. I need to think on this one. I do want to quit. I honestly am not sure this is the right time, but what is the right time? She has planted the seed. I will take action. I now need to decide when that action will be taken.

My walking papers for today include keeping my blood sugar in line. I made French toast for breakfast with extra egg and coconut milk, and homemade bread. I also had last night's left over mushrooms. it was an odd taste combination, but it worked! I will either have a Progresso soup or tuna with lettuce again today for lunch. Tonight, I'm planning a shrimp dinner and will bulk up with broccoli.

As related to last night, I made it through that hour of alone time. It's hard when all is quiet and I'm alone. I have such a life-long habit of staying up late and eating till bedtime. I've been generally going to bed earlier, so that's a start.

On with the day.

Update 1:10 p.m.: I made a couple decisions and acted on them. I joined the Y this morning and also signed up for smoking cessation class starting in February. I also made a banging lunch of left over chicken soup (without the chicken), a sautéed chicken breast (put back into the soup!), and a banana. So many vegetables and so much taste! Jealous? Hell, I'm jealous and I'm eating it!

Update 8:18 p.m.: Stressful last hour, but it's okay. I'm past it. My blood sugar was 117 after dinner. Hoofuckinray! It's a little low for me, so I had one of my snacks for the evening now and that should balance things out. I incorporated a cup of orange juice earlier to keep from crashing. Now to find the balance where the blood sugar is in line and my reaction to a lower blood sugar normalizes. I'm very happy with the numbers the past two days and that pretty amazing. I will start the water walking class on Thursday. I may or may not go by the pool just to float around tomorrow. Richard had a point about not starting right out with Zumba, but I will do something activity wise tomorrow. I just don't have a plan yet.

It's been a good day for health. My obsession continues.

Artwork credit blood sugar
Artwork credit smoking

Monday, January 16, 2017

Can we obsess?

Most people are trying to break free from an obsession. Not me.

I'm working on maintaining an obsession for self-care/good health. Today's one goal is to maintain a positive attitude and relieve myself of "can't."

I talk Zen and mindfulness. Today, I put it into action. Today, we work on breaking free from a bizarre mindset. I got this.

Update 11:30 a.m.: Post breakfast blood sugar was 324. That came after a 51-carb breakfast. I did pair protein with the carbs, but this wasn't my best effort. I'm incorporating herbal tea into my day and that is my treat before lunch. I'm planning tuna salad, shredded lettuce, tomato, and probably an apple for lunch. That should bring a better post meal number. I'll continue the self-talk today as well. I think this is helping with staying on course.

Update 12:50 p.m.: Lunch was indeed tuna, shredded lettuce, and a black pepper cracker thing. I'm having a large glass of water to go with. I happen to use organic mayo and relish, but the mustard is French's. I've been doing some reading about blood sugar spikes as I work, and will continue to obsess for the remainder of the afternoon.

Dinner is planned - burgers on English muffins. I'll make a veggie side for myself and I already have cheese and avocado set out to go on the burger. I also have been looking at Dr. Bernstein's information and ordered an e-book. A gal can't learn too much, right?

Update 7:11 p.m.: I should have taken a picture of dinner. Carrots, mushrooms, onions, swiss cheese on a burger, and avocado. I put a tiny splash of wine in the onions and mushrooms while they sautéed in ghee. Winnie grilled the burgers and they were amazing. I couldn't finish mine, but that's why I have a German shepherd, right?

Snack is planned. I am under calories by a few and have maintained the "obsession" through now. I picked up a few fruits and some nut snacks so I can make good choices.

From now until bedtime will be the most difficult period of the day for me. I know this is my challenge time and I believe I can face it head on for today.

What I have left to do - work till 10, do my eyedrops, read, snack (planned), and sleep.

See you tomorrow.

Update 10:16 p.m.: I am now alone in the downstairs. The pantry is across from me. The bowl I had my popcorn snack in, though empty, sits next to me. The box in which the popcorn snack came in lives in the pantry. I will spend the next 43 minutes literally convincing myself why it's either okay or not okay to get more of the popcorn snack. Argh. Like I said, this is the worst time of day for me, but confessing it in writing will keep me from getting up, crossing the room, and opening the pantry.

I remember a phrase, and I've used it before, "the lion will be fed again." The lion, by the way, doesn't struggle with an urge to grab junk food for no reason other than to eat it. I'm a Leo. You'd think I would know that.

You may ask what being alone has to do with anything. No one would know. No one would see. Here's where I say that I am someone and I would know and I would see. I need to read that again tomorrow.

Artwork credit breakthrough
Artwork credit roller coaster

Sunday, January 15, 2017

From Oz

My new obsession. Taking care of me. I wonder if I can do that. A little shred of doubt takes it out of obsession mode and into failure mode. So think about it. My new obsession.

The wheelchair-bound fellow on Oz said his new obsession was not doing drugs. And yet, in this episode, he did drugs. Has he failed in his goal of remaining drug-free?

And off I go.