Monday, January 16, 2017

Can we obsess?

Most people are trying to break free from an obsession. Not me.

I'm working on maintaining an obsession for self-care/good health. Today's one goal is to maintain a positive attitude and relieve myself of "can't."

I talk Zen and mindfulness. Today, I put it into action. Today, we work on breaking free from a bizarre mindset. I got this.

Update 11:30 a.m.: Post breakfast blood sugar was 324. That came after a 51-carb breakfast. I did pair protein with the carbs, but this wasn't my best effort. I'm incorporating herbal tea into my day and that is my treat before lunch. I'm planning tuna salad, shredded lettuce, tomato, and probably an apple for lunch. That should bring a better post meal number. I'll continue the self-talk today as well. I think this is helping with staying on course.

Update 12:50 p.m.: Lunch was indeed tuna, shredded lettuce, and a black pepper cracker thing. I'm having a large glass of water to go with. I happen to use organic mayo and relish, but the mustard is French's. I've been doing some reading about blood sugar spikes as I work, and will continue to obsess for the remainder of the afternoon.

Dinner is planned - burgers on English muffins. I'll make a veggie side for myself and I already have cheese and avocado set out to go on the burger. I also have been looking at Dr. Bernstein's information and ordered an e-book. A gal can't learn too much, right?

Update 7:11 p.m.: I should have taken a picture of dinner. Carrots, mushrooms, onions, swiss cheese on a burger, and avocado. I put a tiny splash of wine in the onions and mushrooms while they sautéed in ghee. Winnie grilled the burgers and they were amazing. I couldn't finish mine, but that's why I have a German shepherd, right?

Snack is planned. I am under calories by a few and have maintained the "obsession" through now. I picked up a few fruits and some nut snacks so I can make good choices.

From now until bedtime will be the most difficult period of the day for me. I know this is my challenge time and I believe I can face it head on for today.

What I have left to do - work till 10, do my eyedrops, read, snack (planned), and sleep.

See you tomorrow.

Update 10:16 p.m.: I am now alone in the downstairs. The pantry is across from me. The bowl I had my popcorn snack in, though empty, sits next to me. The box in which the popcorn snack came in lives in the pantry. I will spend the next 43 minutes literally convincing myself why it's either okay or not okay to get more of the popcorn snack. Argh. Like I said, this is the worst time of day for me, but confessing it in writing will keep me from getting up, crossing the room, and opening the pantry.

I remember a phrase, and I've used it before, "the lion will be fed again." The lion, by the way, doesn't struggle with an urge to grab junk food for no reason other than to eat it. I'm a Leo. You'd think I would know that.

You may ask what being alone has to do with anything. No one would know. No one would see. Here's where I say that I am someone and I would know and I would see. I need to read that again tomorrow.

Artwork credit breakthrough
Artwork credit roller coaster

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