Thursday, September 3, 2015

A Blip in the Doldrums

Truth be told, I could barely keep my eyes open today. I relied on some ibuprofen to help with the fire down below. And I decided not to go to Robin's. Oh yeah, Dr. Burgess called and asked me to come Tuesday instead of Thursday. I also got blood work back from Dr. Hoag, and it wasn't that bad. The stuff that is up or down can be related to stress and inflammation and healing.

I changed my mind and went to Robin's anyway to get out of my head. We laughed a lot. It was a good way to spend a few hours. She baked a pizza and kicked my hind parts at Rummy. It didn't matter, we were spending fun time doing a fun thing, and I wasn't feeling crabby about my pee situation. She did mention that I didn't seem to be going as much. That's a step in the right direction.

I have so much to think about and options to weigh. I don't even know if I'm healing properly as I still have frequency and burning. I would have loved to see the images after surgery. And I'm remaining positive that it was inflamed tissue and not another cancerous situation. Recall that when I asked Dr. Burgess pre-surgically if I were facing a partial cystectomy, his face took on an odd look, he said he couldn't say for sure, that if it were so, it wouldn't be that day, and that it was a great question to ask.

To gripe for a minute, I'm sick of surgery. I'm sick of being "that" person who has tales to tell. I want to fade away into Donna obscurity. Healing from the inside out is working for Abbey; I need to take the approach for myself. I can't stop cancer. I can't stop whatever come next with the healing process in the bladder. What I can do is build my strong body around it and feel better. Once again, as my friend Kate said years ago, it's time to "follow the dog."

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