April 19, 2015 - had weird thing happen, blood in my urine! ER visit with a clean CT scan and no infection, and a referral to a urologist.
About 2 weeks later, met with the urologist. He set up an ultrasound.
Monday, June 8, I followed up with the urologist and he was smiling when he told me the ultrasound was clear. He proceeded to do a cystoscopy and when I saw this bouncing pink thing that looked like 100 jellyfish huddled together (sans tentacles), he said, "that's a tumor." Right about there, I sort of lost focus. I asked if he was going to snip it off and he said it had to be done in an OR. He talked about cancer, a chemotherapeutic agent that would be instilled, surgery, the possibility of recurrence, and that I was lucky that mine was the size of a grape as the gentleman before me had one the size of a Twinkie. Honestly, I don't want a tumor at all, dude. I did ask where you get these things and he said smoking. Okay, that's off the table.
They said the scheduler would call and we'd get this thing done this week or next. It's Wednesday at 6 p.m., and I haven't heard anything so far. I'm sure they'll get to it.
I sat on a bench outside the center and talked to Richard on the phone, cried a little bit, and then headed for Emily's doughnut shop. They were so worth it. I didn't sleep much Monday night, even after taking one of Richard's pills. I woke up apparently having nightmares and he came in and slept with me for the rest of the night.
Tuesday and today haven't been much better. I'm truly in a funk. I'm allowing myself till Friday morning to have my pity party and then I pick myself up, wipe off the dust, and get on with it. This is what I will be having: