Sunday, May 25, 2014

Day off is over!

I tend to take Friday or Saturday off while still keeping the 'betes in mind when snacks are chosen. I'm finding that anything that is not a vegetable or a protein is a problem with the blood sugar. So, a day off might include some serious fruit or chocolate or whatever. And I pair it with some sort of protein for blood sugar protection. This week will be a hardcore paleo/primal/diabetes week. We're having "tacos" tonight. Richard will have taco shells and I will have some plantain cakes (eggs/plantains) that are toasted to eat along with the taco salad on the plate. It's an experiment and I think it's going to be a good one.

Breakfast was one of my throwback standards with the addition of a teaspoon or so of shredded asiago. My post breakfast blood sugar was in a pretty decent range, and that makes me happy. 

I spent some time today continuing my re-education in the world of diabetes type 2. The primal eating plan works almost perfectly. Australia has a hand up on the glycemic index information; they even label foods with a low GI symbol to assist making choices in the store. One thing I don't like about the American Diabetes Association is that they're fine with and almost encourage foods that are not necessarily good - diet sodas, fat free this and that; you get the idea. I will not sway over to that way of thinking again. I did mention to Richard that ISWF and W30 have changed my relationship with food. I have to put the diabetes first, but I do not have to swing a full 180 and go back to eating large quantities of carby things. Carbs are the key with diabetes. It's good for me to re-educate. I'm in this to continue winning. Drum roll please:
My primal take on nachos. Plantain 'bread' topped with Wellness Meats ground beef, lettuce, avocado, salsa, and some shredded cheddar. The next batch of plantain cracker/bread stuff, I'll cut a couple larger than the regular sized and have more of a tostada while Richard has his tacos. 

Overall, today's been good. I plan on having more of these. 

Thursday, May 22, 2014


I've been slackin' the last couple days and it shows in my blood sugar. It stops here before it snowballs into a week or three.

Nice primal breakfast - traditional Greek yogurt, strawberries, and some shredded asiago for a boost in the protein. I have beef defrosting for lunch. I'm sure I'll find a fun veggie to go with it.

My blood sugar was down a little after walking and 2-hours post lunch, but not enough. It may take a few days to get it into a good range with the previously mentioned slacking!

Looks good, doesn't it? I needed protein and I got it. A nice filet of beef and a bunch of mushrooms cooking in the pan with it and some bacon fat. That there's a paleo lunch! 

Blood sugar after errands and then lunch was pretty decent. Making progress!

Wellness Meats burger, lettuce, avocado, tomato, some shredded cheddar, and salsa. I'm as full as I can be and the salad was amazing. This is one to try again!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

A beautiful Primal day in the neighborhood

A wonderful breakfast casserole this morning - eggs, zucchini, spaghetti squash base, tomatoes, sausage, and organic cottage cheese. It took forever to bake. I think my toaster oven is about to bite the big one. I'll be lost without it! I have a walk planed for today and am looking forward to it. There's a bit of free floating angst in the house today and I don't want it landing on me!
What do you eat when you don't want to cook? Fresh pineapple and organic cottage cheese. Yup.
An amazing beige and white dinner - pork loin chops, apple sauce, and a mash of cauliflower and rutabaga. I have a yogurt/banana snack on board for later.

Reflections: It's been a kind of weird day with family drama here and there. It settled, but the day's been sort of odd ever since. I know I'm tired, so I'm working double not to let any of it get to me. One thing I can control is intake and I've made excellent choices today. Lunch was a little meh, but I truly didn't feel like eating or cooking in order to eat what I knew I had to. This day will pass and hopefully, the people around me will move on with whatever is bugging them. And so it goes.....

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Back on the wagon after BG's VIP thing.

I went to a VIP opening for a new show at Busch Gardens, "London Rocks," last night and there wasn't a paleo bite in the house. They fed us amazing food tied to the Brits (Welsh rarebit, mashed potatoes with a ton of toppings, British cheeses, fish and chips, all sorts of stuff) and layered desserts afterward. My son and I took a long walk after dinner. We had to! But today, back on track and staying there.

And it starts with a simple breakfast of eggs, Wellness Meats sugar-free bacon, and some asparagus. 
Greek yogurt and a banana for lunch. 

Reaction to Fat Girl Rant on Louis CK

Here's the scene: It's from a recent episode of Louis CK. The character talks about being fat. There has been a lot of reaction in the press and online. There is a reason for that; it's an excellent rant. Now it's my turn.

I never in a million years thought I would ever be fat. I was an athletic youngster, not overweight at all. I did hear "hold in your stomach" most of my life from my mother. She tended to mention weight often. But that was then. I do understand I am the sum total of my parts, including my childhood, but somewhere along the line, my body and way of dealing with my body changed.

I never intended to be fat. That wouldn't happen to me. But it did. As a young married person, I tried to cook healthy meals and exercise, at least I think I did. The full memories of that time are cloudy. We did, however, start eating chips and dip and other foods available from the newly built 7-11 not far from home. At that time, there were no convenience stores or grocers in our area. There was the local country store, but they closed at 7. Impulse buying and eating wasn't possible before 7-11; you had to plan a 10-mile trip to a store and often, the trip just wasn't worth taking. Small gains, but easily taken off by eating right again.

Then came children. With the first child, I dove head first into health and organics. I had a garden. My body was fine. I wasn't fat. Over time, I relaxed and allowed certain foods back into the house. A mother has to bake, right? A few pounds here and there.

Throughout all of these years, I swam off and on. The desire would come and go. But I kept it up as best as I could.

Two more children came at once. I lost weight the whole pregnancy. Afterward, I ate Oreos.

And shortly after that, I started buying bigger clothes. I don't know the exact what and how and why of it all, but in the years that followed, I got fat. Really fat. I still swam. I stayed in the 250+ range for many years and just dealt with it. I ate a lot at night. Always at night. The kids would go to bed, my husband would go to bed, and I would eat. Now we have grocery stores and several 7-11s within a very short distance, and they carry ice cream, Dove Bars, ice cream sandwiches, and all sorts of junk food that had become my addiction.

In 1994, my mother died, I received family news of a bit of an impact, and my business was failing, as was my marriage. What I didn't know is that I was also suffering a fairly severe depressive episode that had been going on for months and maybe years. I stopped eating. All my life I had wished for an anorexic episode and I got one! I had to force myself to eat. I had maybe yogurt for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, and barely any dinner, I started eating apples and sprouts, and tried to stay within an attempted healthy food outline. But I lost 111 pounds in 9 months. I had become addicted to swimming, going a mile a day for 5-6 days a week. I moved out and lived alone, and I was sleeping maybe 3 hours a night. I was broke and lived on chicken and peanut butter and diet Dr Pepper. I also began to realize that things were not good. I started an antidepressant, gave my business away, moved to Pittsburgh for work and a change, and got a divorce. After several trials, an antidepressant was found that worked for me and allowed me to sleep, work, go home, sleep, work, go home, and maintain that routine.

As my mental health improved, so did my appetite and before I knew it, even though I was walking everyday at lunch, I was back in the 200 range.

I didn't plan on being fat.

Then came the reconciliation. I moved back to Williamsburg and my husband and I remarried. There's a long story there, but that's not what this is about. We were happy with one another and still are. We began our bad eating habits almost immediately. Our five-year break worked, though, in terms of our relationship. As weight increased, my mobility began to suffer because of an old injury in my left knee. I had PT for years before and started it again. I took a lot of ibuprofen. It got to where I could barely walk. I started taking water exercise classes to help. I have always been a ballerina in the water.

My orthopedist told me I would know when it was time to have it replaced. By then, I was up to almost 300 pounds and topped out at 309. I did have the left knee replaced. After a long period of rehab and healing, I returned to aquatic exercise class and slowly, slowly, slowly began to move on land as well. I also changed internal medicine doctors. He suggested I try Weight Watchers. Well, hell, I'd done that several times in the past. But I said, "What the heck?" and did it anyway. A year later, I was down 30 pounds. I also had my second knee replaced at about that time. Within a matter of a few weeks, I was back in the pool and still attending Weight Watchers. I lost up to 55 pounds and was doing okay! But I stopped going. I wasn't feeling it anymore. I started to put it back on again, even with the exercise.

My doctor suggested trying MyFitnessPal, which I still use, but I wasn't losing weight. I am sure I was self-sabotaging. A few months after that, he recommended reading It Starts with Food and giving Whole30 a try. That threw me off my balance big time. I took a month to read the book and make the decision, and just plain did it. I was down 85 pounds by Thanksgiving of 2013. Holidays and a period of not caring followed for almost 4 months. I gained 15. I went back to the doctor and my blood work was so out of whack that it wasn't funny. I stopped right there. I said to myself that a) I didn't want my diabetes to take over my life (been dealing with insulin resistance and then diabetes since 1994) and b) I didn't want to be fat. And thus far, I'm fine with eating and exercising and sleeping.

Here's the thing about being fat - others see it as repulsive, you become invisible, you can't move properly, your center of balance is all flubbed up, and if people interact with you at all, they may treat you as an inferior. You're seen as weak. How could you let yourself get like that? You know the magic formula - diet and exercise. Why don't you do it? You must hate yourself. There are so many fat people jokes that it's normal to be made fun of. The list goes on and on.

I surely never intended to be fat.

As I see it, the contributing factors were (though probably not limited to):

  • Eating at night
  • Not exercising regularly
  • Not getting good sleep
  • Depression, leading to not caring
  • An element of addiction
  • Sugar begetting the desire for more sugar
  • Possibly a cry for attention
I'm in pretty good shape right now, but the reality is, I'm still fat. I don't want to be fat. I never did. I am still addicted to night eating, but am able to not give in more often than not. The Whole30 started me on the trip to paleo and now primal. I'm balancing proteins and carbs, and am getting 4 days of pretty decent exercise. I'm testing my blood sugar regularly and taking the diabetes seriously. I am also sleeping well and getting to bed earlier.

Back to the fat girl rant. The character is right - All fat or any person wants is to have a person that sees them, feels their wants and desires and emotions, and well, to hold hands. 

Being fat is not for wimps.

In July 2013, I wrote a piece about being fat. A lot of it is duplicated with this post, but that's okay. Any processing of poor decisions to encourage good decisions is okay by me. 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Catching up on my primal diabetes journey

FBS 175 today, 190 yesterday. Definitely a trend downward. I'm having a protein/carb snack at night, if anything. I really have a lower sugar in the morning if I have the snack. I'll keep experimenting. My weight is also down 3 pounds. The weight loss is a given when I take care of other health issues and include exercise. I have essentially 50 pounds to lose and my husband reminds me I'm well over halfway there. He's right, of course, but 50 sounds daunting. At least it's not the 130 to lose it once was!

Blogging has taken a back seat to activity and sewing, but here's the rundown for yesterday and so far today.
A very familiar breakfast yesterday. Asparagus, eggs, pancetta, and 1/2-oz cheese. 
Amazing egg salad with lettuce and olives added, and the best yogurt on the planet - Dreaming Cow Maple Ginger. I will definitely buy this again. High protein, full fat - hard to find this anymore!
And then dinner was to die for - Wellness Meats sugar-free sausage, left over cabbage/rutabaga mash, and my last (boo hoo) Honey Crisp apple. I did have a yogurt snack last night; ergo, the lower blood sugar this morning.

This morning, I tried something new - one banana, two eggs, and pumpkin pie spice in the Magic Bullet baked at 350° for a half hour. It was really good. It was somewhere between a souffle and a bread. Excellent texture and taste. I spiraled some honey on top when it was done. I'll try it with coconut milk next time. You can't go wrong with a fruit and a couple eggs!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

FBS 214, weight steady

I slept like a champ last night and didn't wake up with a desert for a mouth. That's been a very weird symptom to have, but it's one that got my attention. As I bring the blood sugar under control and continue to drink tons of water, continue self-care with eating good food and exercise, hopefully, the symptoms will dissipate.

But for today, how about this breakfast?
Simple. Pancetta, eggs, asparagus, and 1/2-ounce of colby cheese. Of course, there's organic ketchup hidden under there. Major flavor and primal to boot!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Primal blood sugars and such

My blood sugars are slowly going down with consistency in good food and reintroduction of the pool/aquatics class. I've been swimming a few laps before class. They just make me feel good. I will be testing blood sugars in a paired fashion (before and after meals) and keep checking for trends. It's all things primal and all things diabetes, not necessarily in that order. Here's the good food for today:
Breakfast was simple today - plantain cakes, avocado, and beef slices. My plantain cakes could be thinner (they are made of plantains and eggs). The next batch will be adjusted.  

One of the pool ladies was talking about a BLT. That made me think of a deconstructed BLT without the bread. That's how the salad began. No bacon, but lots of other goodies - asiago, beef, cucumber, tomato, olives, and lettuce. I used Bolthouse Farms vinaigrette and the balsamic made everything sing. 

For dinner, oh for dinner, wings! They were seasoned with coconut aminos (I used to use soy sauce for this), garlic salt, and lemon pepper. I was sauteing the mushrooms while my husband's hamburger cooked and was thinking I wanted something else. I remembered I had a couple cans of green beans and drained one of those cans and tossed them in. I'll need to look for an organic variety if I'm going to eat them canned, but they were exactly what I was looking for.

I do have a banana and cheese stick planned for later and the day is now done as far as food is concerned. I'm pleased with the way this day has gone and hope for many more. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Day of Primal Mom - Me!

I made myself a fabulous brunch. I cut up the last of the bacon ends from Wellness and added zucchini slices. When the bacon was crispy, the zucchini was done. Yumtastic. Round it all out with a couple of eggs and some pineapple with cinnamon, and brunch was served. 

Lunch was a banana with organic cottage cheese. 

But dinner. Oh dinner.
Filet, mushrooms, and kiwi. Know what's missing?

Crispy rutabaga! Why? Cause I burned it :) 

Reflections: It's been an overall good day. I created a blood sugar log and started checking levels again. This diabetes thing has me scared shitless. 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Warmer weather means working earlier!

I'm getting my chores done earlier and earlier these days. I'm not ready to turn on the AC yet; it just doesn't seem right! That means breakfast is a little later and posting the picture is even later than that!

I changed my carb goals on My Fitness Pal based on suggestions by Mark's Daily Apple/Primal Blueprint. It will be interesting to see if I can keep it to 102 grams. Breakfast today was 11 g.

Eggs, zucchini, smidgen of asiago (need to cut it in half next time, even the 1/3 oz is too strong), and pancetta. Organic ketchup is hidden under the eggs! 

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Pact App is great and yet, it bugs me!

I eat more vegetables than Carter has liver pills (an analogy I use in my mother's honor as it's close to Mother's Day' she said that all the time!). I also use Pact App on my iPhone to report and earn money for eating them. This morning, I took a pictures of the mushrooms sauteing and it got rejected. What? I took another picture of them cooking with the eggs and it was accepted. Still people commented that they couldn't tell it was being eaten (one of the qualifications). Same thing with the strawberries on my plate. I got a comment that you couldn't tell it was being eaten. There's no challenge to the community's decision; the decisions are all driven by the community. Most of the time, people are cool and see what you have and vote thumb's up. Other times, I think there are people rejecting everything they review just to be little shits. Oh well. Overall, it's a good app and I like getting paid to exercise, log food, and eat veggies and fruits.

Don't care what Pact App says; this is an amazing, nutritious, paleo breakfast :) 

Primal for lunch - plantain cakes, cucumbers, strawberries, and organic cottage cheese. Who didn't feel like cooking for lunch? Me!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Good Morning Paleo Me

I tried something new this morning. I had seen a picture of this somewhere and even my picture looks good enough to try. I picked up a big portobello at Whole Foods the other day just to give this a shot. I cleaned it and cracked an egg in the well, adding some leftover sausage in small pieces. I forgot the S&P, so added that after. I baked it for about 40 minutes and that turned out to be a bit too long. The egg was sort of like a hard boiled egg, which was okay. The mushroom was just a bit much, though. I probably will not try this again, but I'm glad it was on my plate this morning. I'll never stop trying foods I haven't had before!

Blech. I just tried one of these: 
I'd really like to enjoy these things, but this was another no thank you fail. I ate half of it because I'm hungry and not quite ready for my salad. Which brings me to this:
This is going to be great - cucumbers, tomatoes, chicken, avocado, and Tessamae's ranch. I have it "simmering" in the refrigerator as we speak!

Made some rutabaga fries in the oven. They were amazing! The ham and pineapple were as good as would be expected. Great dinner.

Reflections: It's been a weird day and I'm glad it's winding down. Good food, good activities, bleh mood. 

Monday, May 5, 2014

Occasionally, you gotta pump...not that kind of pump!

Now for something completely different. A not-so-paleo breakfast of warmed up pineapple and cinnamon, cocktail pumpernickel with a small amount of goat gouda. Not bad! It's my occasional treat. 

No picture for lunch. I had a banana and a stick of cheddar. I can't remember the last time I had cheese twice in one day. It was one of those "don't wanna cook" days.

Definitely a picture of dinner, though. I added the veggies that I cooked with the chicken to the broccoli and ghee, and warmed that up to perfection. Tonight was farmers market sausage night too. It was just the right amount of spicy. For snack later, some Enjoy Life mini chips. 

Reflections: I think today went well. I had a meh eye doctor appointment and got into a funk over that, but I got out of it fairly quickly. As I told Winnie, I heard her voice in my head saying, "Get over yourself." That's what I did. The bottom line with all these medical visits is the diabetes; that is the thread that connects everything, well, that and genetics. I am working on getting everything under control. One change I've made is always making sure to pair a carb with a protein of some sort. I'll continue using My Fitness Pal to ensure I don't go nuts in the calorie department while remaining paleo/primal. Yep, a good day.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Great day ahead

I'm in dire need of some seriously clean eating. I ate a flatbread BBQ chicken thing at Kona Grill and last night, suffered many hours of extended belly, overall gross feeling, and inability to sleep. Whew. Glad that is over.

I had a great day with Allison and Anna yesterday; we did a bit of this and that and went to Whole Foods. I bought some Lacinato (sp?) kale as my new thing to try. I plan on making plantain stuff tomorrow. I want those to ripen a bit more before I use them.

In the meantime, a good breakfast should start me off right. 

It's been a super stressful day. New computer was not working right and dealt with that. I'm tired as hades. Blah blah blah. But I didn't go crazy with food. A nice, simple chicken breast cooked with vegetables for lunch. 

Today has been a very good day other than being a grump earlier. 
Virginia ham is always good. Pair it with strawberries and broccoli and you have something special.