Saturday, October 4, 2014

21 days, that's all it takes? The when.

Studies say it takes 21 days to break or change a habit. Smoking, overeating, biting nails, all that good stuff. You can change it in 21 days. I sorta say bullshit.

I am a dyed in the wool food addict. I'd love to say that is not true. I'd love to say there's an easy way to not be a food addict. There are surely 1000 whys and probably 1000 possible solutions to which a professional can point.

I have most recently battled this addiction via better eating. It's a great way to live, but the shit shines through once in a while and falls occur. Deep, dark falls into the depth of the binge (for a better word) that are more and more difficult to recover from as they occur.

Whole30 followed by paleo/primal/organic eating treats my body in the best ways possible. I don't experience seasonal allergies, my blood sugar is under control, I sleep well and seem motivated to exercise.

In the past, there was Weight Watchers, during which I lost a considerable amount of weight, but was still too high carb for my particular health issues.

I've addressed eating with extremely low calories, high exercise levels, and multiple other methods.

And with the exception of the paleo/primal/organic eating, I've always bounced back into addictive behavior, eating when I didn't need or really want to, making poor choices, bingeing.

My addiction appears to be related to the time of day when the sun goes down. Fucked up, but that's the common thread for sure.

I have more to say, but that's enough for right now. I know the time when I'm most likely to splurge to the nth degree. The what and the why and the how and the fucked up hiding of food are to come.

Later. It's night now. Dinner is behind me. My 2 hour post meal blood sugar was low, so the evening snack is also done.

Here's how I know I'm an addict and have mini withdrawals - my cheeks tighten. So stupid.

For tonight, I will be stronger than the desire to eat food, especially food that has no redeeming value other than to play the role of heroin being shot into my arm. The pleasure is short lived and the discomfort can last for days.

It's all good, though. I'm looking at the bright side of tending to withdrawal.

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