Tuesday, March 19, 2013

These should be read, memorized, and repeated....

....over and over until it is a part of my psyche!
Yesterday, pretty good. Today, pretty good. Tomorrow, pretty good and then some.

Here's one more:
That is all.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Hard f'in core

I'm back, bitches. Oh yeah. It's hard core time. I have meals planned for today, including snacks, and I plan on zero naps and going to bed by 11:30.

I promise to do this for myself today. My first sentence in this paragraph said something about "do this to myself." I backed over it and said, no fucking way. I'm doing it for myself, not to myself. Geeze, see how fucked up the mind can be?

My current long term goal is to lose 10 pounds. That's it. 10 pounds. I will not think beyond those 10 pounds. When that goal is met, should I choose to set another goal, I will.

I've realized that I'm okay right where I am, but there are more times than not when I think that is a false statement. So, my current approach is the same food plan, but to stick with it rather than kick it to the curb in the evenings as I have done from time to time lately.

So there you have it. Hard fucking core for today.

Still fat and still fucking working on it.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Okay, yesterday wasn't so bad!

This girl has more energy than I've ever had in my life. Shortly after this picture was taken, I took her out back and played ball with her to help her work it off. Guess what? I ended up walking and picking up and playing too. Movement! Yay :)

I stuck to my guns yesterday. I may have gone over in calories by a few, but nothing like the day before when I threw myself into a binge frenzy. I've dissected it and bisected it and trisected it as much as I can, and the why is "just because." A friend suggested it was related to stress. She might be right. I have good stress in my life right now, including the puppy in the picture. I think the key, a la the puppy, is to harness that stress energy and turn it into something good.

No eat zones help.

I've been gravitating toward the sewing machine from time to time, and that's a no eat zone. I love to sew and create, so that's a huge strategy.

When it's not raining, I spend time outside. That's also a no eat zone. 

I go to bed a little earlier than I used to. That means reading and then sleeping. Another no eat zone.

The bottom line is that I want to get into the 240s and say goodbye to the 250s. I start anew every day and this day is no different. After a successful day and a day of already planned meals today, I should reach my goal in short order.

Today, it's the yard, the pool, work, more puppy time, and then off to play cards with Robin. That will include a snack, but I already have it ready to go - Crunch 'n Munch. High fiber, sweet, and not dreadfully awful in calories.

I'm encouraged today.

Still fucking fat, though, and still fucking working on it.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

You're doing it wrong!

Okay, Doz, I say to myself, you're doing it wrong. The reality is you binged last night. You planned it, you did it, and now you decide - do it again or move on and do things closer to right? 

Here's the menu for an all out binge - 5 ice cream sandwiches, a package of pecan swirls, Wheat Thins and spreadable brie, and that's just after dinner. Breakfast and dinner were fine. Lunch was a small milkshake and french fries from Wendy's.

Decision time - do I spend the day wondering why I did that or do I move on? Two days ago, I worked in the yard for over an hour. Yesterday, I went to my exercise class. Both days, I got a lot done around the house. It's not like I was a slug with a cloud hanging over me. Is this cyclic? Or is it self-sabotage? I'm using My Fitness Pal and doing well. I've started losing again, one pound at a time. Why binge now? Was it the hint of snow in the forecast? Who the fuck knows. It stops here.

Now it's time to do it the right way. Fuck the binge.

Doz, I tell you, blog when you want to binge. Don't plan a junk food night. It just doesn't work. There's not enough activity in the world for a 57-year-old woman who works sitting down to do to balance out a massive overeating session. Was it worth it, Doz? I didn't think so. You woke up sluggish and it took longer than usual to get your alertness on. You feel really fat this morning. You're feeling disappointed in yourself and this negativity needs to be trashed and destroyed. The long term goal is still in sight.

Today will be a good day; it already is. My plan is to make the right choices today. I'll tackle tomorrow when it gets here.

Still fucking fat and working harder than fucking ever to get in and stay in control.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Losing again

Me, MyFitnessPal, my exercise, and my GymPact are working again. I've lost 2 pounds in the past two weeks. I was getting royally pissed at myself and my body and my mental health, when lo and behold, I kicked it into high gear after being evaluated for a potential cardiac issue (I do not have any cardiac problems!).

Today and a couple days this week, I was out blowing leaves and was curious how many calories that burned. I found this site that tells you what you've burned Calorie Lab, and it turns out my half hour of leaf blowing is burning up about 142 calories per half hour. So, I plugged in water walking/aerobics and found that I'm burning about 300 calories per hour. How fun is that? Makes you feel better and you get to see numbers that make your motivational juice flow.

I have an absolute goal to reach, weight wise, but it's sort of interesting to know I can maintain for 3 months. I've been playing with the same few pounds over and over since we got the dog, but now that number is moving on the scale. The weight is a priority because, in part, it equates to good health for this last third of my life.

My husband mentioned that we have to spend our time with the living. My friend LeeAnn said that we need to deal with that which is in front of us. They're both right. I want to continue those experiences. It's more than losing weight. And now I have a fun tool to help me figure out how much I am burning on my way to my weight goal, not my life goal, but my weight goal.

I'll do it at a turtle's pace and that's just fine with me.