Sunday, December 30, 2012

I win!

That nasty refrigerator ain't got nuttin on me. I won again.

My hours have changed in a big way, so it's no longer "no eating after 11;" it has become "no eating after 8." And today, I did it.

I am hopelessly addicted to food and am more aware of that than ever. Richard ate two snacks sitting beside me - no, make that three. I took a tiny bite of his peppermint patty, but what got me more than that was the smell of his corn chips. I asked him to move the plate away from me, that they smelled too good. Way too good. Both of these are huge for me. I would have preferred my own peppermint patty or at least half of his. I would have, in the past, definitely helped him eat his plate of corn chips. I can almost smell them now as I write this. That's fucking sad, isn't it?

I will work very hard to win again tomorrow and the tomorrows beyond that. It's an hour at a time. February needs to see me 10 pounds lighter and there's only one way to do that and that is to take care of myself. And I will.

I signed up for Gym Pact. Tomorrow is my first day for that. You pay $5 each time you do not make your gym goal. For instance, I committed to three times a week at one hour each. It doesn't matter what day it is, but I need to have three days between Sunday and Saturday. At the end of the week, if you meet your commitment, you receive a take of those people's $5 payment who didn't meet theirs. We'll see!

I'm feeling pretty good about things right now. I need to hold onto this feeling.

Oh, and by the way, I'm still fucking fat and I'm still fucking working on it.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Small goal week

I am going to set a small goal each day this week, from today through Thursday. NYE may be an interruption, but I'll address that when it happens. I do plan on drinking, but not sure what or how much just yet. But that's not today.

Today, my goal is to stay within my points. I will use my weekly if necessary, but my mini-goal is to stay away from those points so that I have them available on December 31. If I play my cards right.....

I have so many options this week. I have good foods and junk foods and everything in between. I bought some Whoppers for my day off yesterday. BUT, I scanned them to check the points and lordamercy! They're 6 points for 18 of them, and that little carton has 2.5 servings. So, hands off of those. I might toss them in the trash or stick them in the freezer. For now, they're on the counter. If they taunt me, I will make a move toward disposal of some sort.

I've been on hold since the beginning of November, putting on and taking off the same 1-3 pounds over and over. Now that would be fine if I were at my personal goal, but I'm not. I'm halfway to my personal goal. I have much work ahead. That's the long term plan and I'll get there one step at a time. I'm ready to buy new clothes again. I don't want to become too comfortable in this body.

I have even toyed with doing things on my own and ditching Weight Watchers. I thought better of that and am definitely sticking with what's working.

So, happy end of the year to my fat. It's time to show it the door.

Still fucking fat. Still fucking working on it.



Thursday, December 6, 2012

Re-evaluate

I was down 0.2 last week and up 0.6 this week. I'm playing with the same pound over and over and going nowhere. This has got to stop and I only know one way to do that. Stick to it and move forward. I've been exercising regularly, adding laps as I go. I know I didn't do well last week with intake, so that's what it had to be. Therefore, there's but one thing to do - make it happen. 

I think Weight Watchers is still the way to go and tracking is a huge key. My personal commitment is tantamount to the process. So, I'm making a promise to myself to go for a perfect week. I was hoping for a 2-pound loss this week and that did not happen. I'll make it happen in the upcoming week.

More blogging to come. I think this is part of my personal process as well.