Monday, July 30, 2012

Groove. I gots it. (updated 08/2013)

See the grooves over there --> ? That's where I am. In the groove.

I will fight night eating for the rest of my life, methinks, and I just have to get over it. I'll deal with it every single day, including today, but I will not let it throw me off my path to success.

My long term goal is to have lost 100 pounds by July 2013. My intent is to make it with some ups and downs and a whole lot of reality involved.

For today, I will stay out of the kitchen now that dinner and snack are done. I will take pride in my exercise today. I am a warrior in the groove.

Still fucking fat. Still fucking working on it.

Update: I did not make the 100 by July 2013. I have, though, made 85 and a lot of changes that broke down my plateau and has taken me into a really amazing part of my life. My new long-term goal is 100 by mid-October 2013. I'm losing slowly, though, so it's more realistic to look toward 100 by 2014. Regardless, Whole30 and paleo have been very, very good to me and I'm not looking back.

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Okay then - yesterday is over and I'm out of the funk. I got this thing.

I don't know why I backslide or even think about it, but I do. I'm human more than I know. I really need to keep my eye on the prize, though.

Not every day is a great day. Today has been a fine day, nutritionally and mentally. I think part of what is different today is that I got a good night's sleep. I've been busy and active all day, and have paid close attention to what goes in my mouth, writing down everything. (Last night when I overdid it a bit, I wrote that all down too.)

Like I said, I've got this thing. I don't want to fail and I don't want to falter, but I think that's part of the whole process. I'd like to wake up tomorrow morning 50 pounds lighter, but that's not going to happen. Next July, though, I will be 50 pounds lighter. That's a given.

Still fucking fat and still fucking working on it.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Having a tough time

I'm not so much drowning as I am floating along at the same weight for the last three weeks. I have found myself making excuses for eating at night or other times during the day when I have no allowance left to so so. I put a stop to it every single day.

I reached my birthday and am 49 pounds down. My goal was 50 down by my birthday. I will make the 50 this week, just a few days after a year after joining WW.

The saying "One year from now, you will wish you had started...." comes to mind a lot these days. Well, it is one year from now and I'm not wishing I had started WW; I did start WW and am working hard to stick with it.

I vow to myself that the remainder of this week will be right on point, so to speak. I've avoided munching tonight and will avoid it tomorrow night, but I sure did try to convince myself that it would be okay to have a "couple Twizzlers" or something else. My inner conversation was to not do that. I already had cheese and crackers that required use of weekly points. I fought the demon and won for tonight. It's habit - I am not hungry. I simply must, must, must not continue to have these inner battles. Sigh. I will not go back to bad habits.

Still fucking fat and still fucking working on it.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Almost there

I have 1.8 pounds to go before I reach the magic 50-pound mark. I've lost 48.2 as of today's weigh in. I am hoping to get to 50 by next Thursday.

While I was in Phoenix, I attended WW and lost weight each week. My first meeting after returning home last week, I was up 3.2 pounds. Today, I was down 3.2 pounds. Amazing how that worked out!

I had a doctor's appointment today and he suggested that WW would stop working after a while and to not be discouraged. He said to start using MyFitnessPal when that happened. I checked out MFP, and it's a lot like other weight loss sites, lots of tools and community. Right now, though, I still need the group. I need to get up, get dressed, and weigh in. The weigh in tends to remind me to stick with it all week long. I'm not ready to give that up.

What I can do, though, is to beef up the vegetables and back off on fruits for a while. My diabetes will appreciate that. My A1C was up this time (7.9) and that's not necessarily a good thing. It's still in an okay range, but I've had much lower and well controlled numbers in the past.

Given the need to continue losing weight and the continuing saga of the diabetes, I'll keep going to WW and keep doing my pool exercise three times a week. It's working for me right now. I can limit the intake of carbs a bit to make life in the blood sugar world a little better. I have more energy than ever and am sleeping better than who knows when.

Other than that, my bloodwork is good, my blood pressure is down, and I continue to make progress in the fat ass department.

Still fucking fat and still fucking working on it!