Monday, June 18, 2012

Subliminal guilt


I dreamed of eating last night. I dreamed of eating a LOT last night. There were burgers and things that looked like burgers that were wrapped in dough and who knows what else. All for me. All for the eating. I even dreamed that I should count all the points and I didn't do it.

I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me to tighten it up a bit after yesterday's brunch outing? Odd thing, this brain in my head.

I'll be exercising in an hour and will feel much better in the awake world. I think I'll listen to the intended message from my sleep and watch my intake closer for a few days..... just in case!

Still fat. Still working on it! Even in my sleep, I think.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Chicken and waffles

Ate brunch here today. It came out to 36 points and yeah, it was worth it. I counted each and every morsel and reminded myself that this is what weekly points are for. We're having a veggie stir fry for dinner, which is a good thing.

I still don't understand the chicken and waffles phenomenon. It was good, but I don't need to do it again. The red velvet cake was super rich and not as sweet I would have expected (I only ate half of the average sized piece that they served).

Now to watch my Ps and Qs for the remainder of the week.

Still fucking fat and still fucking working on it!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

This is how you do it. One pound at a time. I love the way the graph looks. It's going down, but the reality is there are inverse dips going upward in there that prove that it can be done even with a faux pas here and there.

I have to look at the graph once in a while to remind myself that it's working. I feel pretty damned fat these days, but look at that total lost - 47.6. I was fatter in the beginning for sure!

This is a two-year trek that will end with the rest of my life. I don't see -100 as an end point. It's where I begin to begin. I'd like to become one of those lifetime members who gets everything for free. I'll be doing this every day forever and I'm okay with that for some reason. Once a week, I splurge and I don't worry about it. If that starts to seem to be a roadblock, I'll hold back on that.

The key for me is WW and exercise. It's helping me lose weight, it's improving the health of my knees, and I just plain feel overall better even though I'm still fucking fat and working on it.

-47 something and a new picture

I am totally not responsible for that look on my face! I look like I am about to be sick, but trust me, I'm not. I'm kind of proud of this one. I'm so close to 50 pounds down!

I saw myself on the cam at the basketball game tonight and my arms were folded, and all I saw were dimples. Dammit! Now I have to lift weights more often. The middle of me will keep coming off, but it looks like I'm going to have to truly keep working it to get those arms into shape.

I'm in Phoenix and going to meetings here, and this week lost a mite bit. Felt good and now to keep it going on.

I did find out that my knees are not quite ready for scrunching up at the basketball game, but the left one did a lot better than I thought it was.

So, yeah, still fucking fat, but working on it!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

-44.4 That was the tally as of Thursday of last week. I found a meeting in Scottsdale, AZ that coincides with my usual meeting day, so headed for that and was the guest (in the spotlight a bit too much). There weren't many people there, but it was fine.

I'm not straying too far from program. In fact, Winnie is sticking to it with me. I still get the munchies and have a night snack, but I'm counting everything. While I'm here, I'm sticking to my exercise schedule as well. 

Winnie when we went to Sacramento. My hostess for the next couple weeks.

I'm hitting the pool on M/W/F with my Speedo MP3 player and my hat, and walking/dancing/moving with purpose in the pool for 45-50 minutes each time. I'm sore at night, so it's working still! 

I have no expectations of weight loss other than to maintain my commitment to WW, eat well and properly, and hope for the best. I do a little more sitting here than I do at home, but it's not that bad. We're making an effort to walk the whole store if we go anywhere and went yard saling Saturday, which included a lot of in and out of the car and walking. Overall, my expectations and goals are the same - keep working it and the pounds will come off slowly. 

So that's the word up to today. As you might have guessed, I'm still fat and still working on it!