Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Sneak eating

I read a success story on weightwatchers.com  and it was primarily about success related to giving up sneak eating. She's lost nearly 80 pounds by following WW and working on sneak eating. I've never called it that, but that's what it is.

Food tastes better when no one sees you eat it because you can just eat it and not worry about calories, points, fat content, or anything else. It reminds me of the old adage about food not having calories if no one sees you eat it. Right?

I'm thinking that if the writer of the sneak eating piece can work on eating in private, I can too. I related to everything she said, especially"

"......and if I baked a cake or brought home cookies "for my family" — always my excuse — I'd end up eating almost all of them myself. No one ever knew what I was doing.

After I'd pig out like that, I'd ask myself, "Why do you do this to yourself?" But as soon as I started eating, the impulse took over and I couldn't stop. I was ashamed of my weight and my lack of control."

It's amazing how people can almost reach inside your brain, pull out your words and just make it theirs. The rule around here is never take the last piece; that's mom's. I live in a household with two other adults and none of us need that junk around, so buying it "for my family" is a bunch of bullshit. 

I need to think about this for a while. I know it's my roughest spot. It's the hardest thing ever to give up completely. I also know that I'm more likely to eat at night when no one is looking.

"Dance like no one is looking."

That's a much better phrase, don't you think?

Still fat, but getting smarter. 

Monday, January 2, 2012

Where's my fuckin groove?

It's a new year and I'm ready to buckle down. I gained 4 pounds over the holidays and am working hard this week to get my ass back in gear. I missed a day of exercise last week and got right back to it this week. Monday is Rita the Amazing Instructor day, and I hate to miss it. So I didn't. It was wonderful. I feel good in that class, real good. I've also done a good job with my points today. There's a piece of cake over there calling my name, but I'm ignoring it till breakfast.

Back to the subject at hand - where's my super perfect groove? Are you out there groove? Get your ass back here and kick me into the next decade of weight. Surgery is 17 days away and I ain't where I wanna be, dammit! Only one way to do that, keep fighting the good fight, every day, 5 minutes at a time. Staying fat is not an option.

Still fat, but it's gonna be a thing of the past for sure.