Thursday, December 22, 2011

Ta fucking da!

It was a red letter lose day: -7.8 pounds. I took a no weigh option last week, so it's a two-week total, but I'll take it! I'm 1.4 from losing 20 pounds. I'm ready to cross that line.

This is going to be a challenging week, but I think I can either lose or maintain. Today is my day off, but I'm still not going nuts. Every iota will be counted on at least 4 days, probably 5 this week. Normally, it's a 6-day week. I want this bad enough to make it happen. I will absolutely go to the pool tomorrow. It's not closed any of my normal class days, so I have to keep my eye on the prize and go, go, go!

I'd like to break into a new decade of weight and I think I'm on my way.

Gross alert: I hadda pooh this morning before I left for my meeting. I had just weighed myself just to keep an eye on how different my scales are than those at WW, kind of for a calibration (I do that a lot). I got to thinking, why not; I weighed myself afterward. Guess what? It was a .3 pound pooh. Now I know. Nothing special, but in reality, it sure was nice to have that not on/in me for weigh-in. End of gross.

So, I'm still fat, but I'm having some good success and will hopefully be sharing more of those during the coming year.

For those keeping count, I had 6, countem 6, perfect days!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Blast furnace and fuckaduck day!

What a day. A great day. But, dammit, I just had an extra dish of noodles and vegetables from dinner. I can afford it points wise, but I sort of wanted those points to remain in the neg. There you have it. That's the fuckaduck part.

Rita ran our exercise class again today and damn, she is the best. She runs a class that can kick your ass and I love it. We had some funky music playing and she told us to "walk like you have an attitude," and so I did. Then later as the pace picked up, we were doing upper body work while marching in place, and it was phenomenal enough to make me almost cry. I had the feeling I used to get when I would go out dancing. It was just a whole head and body thing that I definitely want to experience again. I did 12 laps today and got my hundred leg pumps done, and the hour of water exercise went by quickly. Looking back, I'm wondering if the addition of the cardio component is what got me going. Hmmmm. I'm not ready for that for a full hour yet, but maybe by this time next year?

The 650-pound virgin show I watched the other day - the trainer said that he just knew once he got the guy started with exercise, he'd be a fucking blast furnace, and he was. So there.. I was a blast furnace today.

I feel good about my day, even with the extra noodles/veggies tonight. I got a nice nap when I got home. I cooked an amazingly nutritious and delicious dinner. I caught my stove on fire (again) and just have to deal with it and workaround. I bought mattresses and boards for the new twin beds. And what else?

Tomorrow - not even sure yet. Still fat. Still working on it.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Day 3, clean machine

Here we are in the beginning of my third day of perfection. Last night, I had a piece of cheese after shutting down my eating, but I counted it like a champ. So far today, I've learned that Trader Joe's quiche (spinach/mushroom) is 12 points! I had one for lunch with apple slices, but I didn't eat most of the crust. I still counted it as 12 to keep myself honest.

I'm watching "I Used to be Fat" on Logo right now. The thing that I think is misleading with these weight loss shows is that yes, anyone can do anything, but these folks have personal nutritionists and personal trainers. We can all extrapolate what we need from the shows, and I do, but I don't have a personal anything. I have Weight Watchers, which I lean on big time, and I have my water exercise class. I go to them. They do not come to me. I'm not complaining, nor am I bitching in general, but just making an observation to myself that I'm doing an amazing job.

Allison walked in today and said "mom, you look good!" I'm fat and have a way to go, but it felt really wonderful hearing that from someone who has not seen me for a few weeks.

I made sausage balls and chose not to eat any. That's pretty cool - I can still do for others without sabotaging myself.

The rest of the day is ahead of me and it'll be fine. for now, "I Used to be Fat" continues. I will seek motivation and work hard until I can say that phrase myself!

One last thing - Nunee is ONE YEAR OLD today!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Day 2 of clean

Stuck with the program. The petite fours are no longer speaking to me. I won. I had some for breakfast and then    planned for some to snack on tonight. Interestingly, there's a television show on OWN right now about a guy who was 650 pounds and is now in the 200s. It's so simple - less in and more out. The end. Weight Watchers is my method, but it could be anything. It's highly motivating to see this working for this young man. He did not choose gastric bypass, did consider but didn't choose suicide, and finally went with less food in, more energy out. And that's where I am.

I need day 3, 4, 5, and on and on of clean eating and moving. And day 2 is now here and almost over.

I SO want this!

Getting clean

I am still fucking fat. I'm losing it slowly, but as of today, I'm working on being 100% "clean." I am sticking to points and exercise like a mofo and will lost 10 pounds by 1/19. Why? I'm having my right knee replaced on 1/19 and I don't want to hike up my big fat ass in the bed this time.

I'm down 16 pounds and want a few more off. I do really well and then a week or two goes by and I just say fuckit for a few days. Not now.

See those red velvet petit fours over there? I have them in my frig. They're magnificent. I have been sitting here for the past hour reminding myself of why I do not want to go attack them right now. If I do, I'll be a) over points, b) filled with remorse when they're eaten, and c) not being true to myself. If I can't take care of me, then who the fuck can? I'm not going to eat them tonight.

I had a great day - fruit, Tuscan soup, Chic Fil a for dinner, and a bowl of the krautfleckle I made for Robin. All counted. All good to go. I will not fuck that up.

Day one of super clean down and a lifetime to go.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Dream shit

I had an odd dream in which Gibbs from NCIS told me, among other things, that I was only at 35%. He originally said 6%, and upped it while we "talked." How interesting. When I woke up and played with the "what the hell was that all about?" game, I came up with the fact that maybe this was me encouraging myself to kick it into high gear with WW and exercise. My success at the dream "job" was apparently in jeopardy due to my reduced effort. Maybe this was me processing how I feel about my effort in the waking world. Anything's possible.

I did work hard at exercise class today, but I was not engaged, so swam a few laps instead and then rejoined the class for stretching at the end.

Now I have the munchies and am willing myself to work at a 100% level to avoid the temptation.